THE award season for luvvies, actors and film makers is in full swing and don’t we know it!
The glitz, the glamour, the ‘totes-emotional’ speeches…they’re always the most dramatic ‘And Finally..’ at the end of every news bulletin the following day.
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Now I don’t want to seem unpatriotic but I do think it is something the Americans do it with the right amount of fanfare and fun.
When we try to replicate the same kind of hullabaloo at the BAFTAs, it never quite comes off for me.
These ceremonies are meant to be slick, polished celebrations of excellence, but every year I feel a bit awkward watching the awards on home soil and I think there are two or three areas where we can learn from our US counterparts.
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First up there’s the red carpet – that odd parade of well dressed famous folk walking into the venue, fending off random reporters desperate to engage in small talk.
Again, US presenters seem to do this so naturally. The late, great Joan Rivers being hilarious while asking, ‘Who are you wearing?’ .
There is currently a young US impressionist called Matt Friend who can do voices of many of the people he intercepts which works a treat.
Our equivalent? For decades the BBC have dispatched poor Colin Paterson to any kind of opening or awards do. He is surely fed up now of leaning over a fence with an outstretched microphone, asking celebs, ‘How are you feeling about tonight?’
Let’s move on to the host and the opening monologue; always a gamble as it can set the tone for the whole night.
In the US they often go for a comic; you think Oscars, you think Billy Crystal, Bob Hope, Steve Martin…a long list of fantastically funny hosts. If I say ‘Golden Globes’, I’m sure you picture Ricky Gervais being dangerously chucklesome.
More recently, and the best I’ve seen for years, US comic Nikki Glaser – she was dynamite hosting the GGs.
The comedy works as the laughs lighten the mood, eases the tension so I’ve no idea why the BAFTAs don’t follow suite.
Of late, the ‘British Oscars’ have been presented by great actors like Alan Cumming, David Tennant and Richard E Grant. Yes, they’re great thespians but really cannot tell jokes or are quick with a quip when things go wrong (and they often do).
Just give it to Graham Norton and Claudia Winkelman and watch them bring the autocue to life.
And finally, acceptance speeches. Oh dear. Now by all means enjoy the moment but this is not the Nobel Peace Prize and you’re not being awarded for curing a rare disease – you remembered some lines and were very well paid for it, so read the room!
Furthermore, do NOT run through a list of names thanking people we’ve never heard of?? That is about as entertaining as reading out a school register.
Again, the Oscars led the way having the orchestra playing over a winner who is rambling and droning on – even better when they brought in the mic retracting into the ground if the speech over runs further!
And let’s bring in a new rule for ALL actory award nights from now on. An hour tops! There is an old saying about church services which I think could apply here too – ‘The mind can only take in what the backside can endure’.
Facts and Footnotes
l The shortest Academy Awards broadcast lasted just 11 minutes due to a strike in 1959.
l Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 70th, 71st and 72nd Golden Globe Awards in 2013, 2014 & 2015
l The BAFTA statuette mask design was created by American sculptor Mitzi Cunliffe in 1955.
Alfie Joey will be hosting (NOT The Oscars but…) the BUSINESSiQ Awards for The Northern Echo at The Hilton, Gateshead, Wednesday, April 22.
